Comments on: could you please correct my grammar ? http://falconadvocacy.com/logo-identity-branding/could-you-please-correct-my-grammar Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:39:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Hatshepsut http://falconadvocacy.com/logo-identity-branding/could-you-please-correct-my-grammar/comment-page-1#comment-755 Hatshepsut Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:13:59 +0000 http://falconadvocacy.com/logo-identity-branding/could-you-please-correct-my-grammar#comment-755 There are many errors in these texts so I have rewritten them in a way that allows them to be shown together. The repetition of words is one of the things I changed. I also made you seem more sure of your work by removing words like "tried". It is a good idea to use a thesaurus to find other words you can use rather than repeating the same ones over and over again. I found you used the word "project" too much, so I added words like objective and assignment. I hope this helps. Wish I could have seen the actual designs. Bay Area The objective was to create a four-page magazine spread regarding the best things about the Bay Area. The intention was to give the reader some insight into this location. The Slanted Door This project was to design a new identity for The Slanted Door. The Slanted Door is a modern Vietnamese restaurant that showcases an abundance of produce. I redesigned their modern look using bright orange while keeping the Vietnamese flavor with their national flower, the lotus. Pantone The assignment was to design three posters for Pantone. My goal was to show as much color as possible to remind people that Pantone captures the world's color. (or "Pantone captures a world of color".) CIOCCOLATO Creating a logo and designing a package for CIOCCOLATO was the purpose of this project. CIOCCOLATO is high quality chocolate that brings romance to mind. I accomplished the design goal with a romantic logo and a simple stripe on the packaging.<br><b>References : </b><br>Photojournalist with experience in the field of advertising. There are many errors in these texts so I have rewritten them in a way that allows them to be shown together. The repetition of words is one of the things I changed. I also made you seem more sure of your work by removing words like "tried". It is a good idea to use a thesaurus to find other words you can use rather than repeating the same ones over and over again. I found you used the word "project" too much, so I added words like objective and assignment. I hope this helps. Wish I could have seen the actual designs.

Bay Area
The objective was to create a four-page magazine spread regarding the best things about the Bay Area. The intention was to give the reader some insight into this location.

The Slanted Door
This project was to design a new identity for The Slanted Door. The Slanted Door is a modern Vietnamese restaurant that showcases an abundance of produce. I redesigned their modern look using bright orange while keeping the Vietnamese flavor with their national flower, the lotus.

Pantone
The assignment was to design three posters for Pantone. My goal was to show as much color as possible to remind people that Pantone captures the world’s color. (or "Pantone captures a world of color".)

CIOCCOLATO
Creating a logo and designing a package for CIOCCOLATO was the purpose of this project. CIOCCOLATO is high quality chocolate that brings romance to mind. I accomplished the design goal with a romantic logo and a simple stripe on the packaging.
References :
Photojournalist with experience in the field of advertising.

]]> By: Ms. Worth http://falconadvocacy.com/logo-identity-branding/could-you-please-correct-my-grammar/comment-page-1#comment-754 Ms. Worth Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:07:59 +0000 http://falconadvocacy.com/logo-identity-branding/could-you-please-correct-my-grammar#comment-754 Bay Area The objective was to create a four-page magazine spread titled "The Best of the Bay Area." The article gives the reader an overview of the Bay Area. The Slanted Door This project was to design a new brand identity for The Slanted Door. The Slanted Door is a modern Vietnamese restaurant that showcases the abundance of the produce used in its cooking. I designed their logo with a bright orange color for a modern flair, but I kept the Vietnamese identity by using their national flower, the lotus. Pantone This project was to design three posters for Pantone. My design goal was to show as much color as is in the world, to reflect the idea that Pantone captures the world's color. CIOCCOLATO This project was to design a logo and packaging for CIOCCOLATO. CIOCCOLATO is high-quality romantic chocolate. So I designed a romantic logo, with a simple stripe on the packaging for upscale elegance.<br><b>References : </b><br> Bay Area
The objective was to create a four-page magazine spread titled "The Best of the Bay Area." The article gives the reader an overview of the Bay Area.

The Slanted Door
This project was to design a new brand identity for The Slanted Door. The Slanted Door is a modern Vietnamese restaurant that showcases the abundance of the produce used in its cooking. I designed their logo with a bright orange color for a modern flair, but I kept the Vietnamese identity by using their national flower, the lotus.

Pantone
This project was to design three posters for Pantone. My design goal was to show as much color as is in the world, to reflect the idea that Pantone captures the world’s color.

CIOCCOLATO
This project was to design a logo and packaging for CIOCCOLATO. CIOCCOLATO is high-quality romantic chocolate. So I designed a romantic logo, with a simple stripe on the packaging for upscale elegance.
References :

]]> By: Kelly http://falconadvocacy.com/logo-identity-branding/could-you-please-correct-my-grammar/comment-page-1#comment-753 Kelly Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:02:59 +0000 http://falconadvocacy.com/logo-identity-branding/could-you-please-correct-my-grammar#comment-753 Okay so I copied all the text above and anything that was incorrect I replaced within a few sets of parenthesis. (( )) Bay Area The objective was to create four pages spread about Best of the Bay Area for a magazine. This was ((to)) give the reader some insight into the Bay Area. The Slanted Door This project was to design a new brand identity for The Slanted Door. The Slanted Door is a modern Vietnamese restaurant that showcases ((an)) abundance of produce. So I tried to ((modernly design their identity)) with bright orange ((colors)) and still look Vietnamese with their national ((flower, the lotus.)) Pantone This project was to design three posters for Pantone. My design goal was to show ((as much color)) that's in the world to remind people that Pantone captures the World's color. CIOCCOLATO This project was to design a logo and ((package)) for CIOCCOLATO. CIOCCOLATO is ((a high quality romantic chocolate.)) So I tried ((to accomplish design goals with a romantic looking logo and simple stripes on bar packaging.))<br><b>References : </b><br> Okay so I copied all the text above and anything that was incorrect I replaced within a few sets of parenthesis. (( ))

Bay Area
The objective was to create four pages spread about Best of the Bay Area for a magazine. This was ((to)) give the reader some insight into the Bay Area.

The Slanted Door
This project was to design a new brand identity for The Slanted Door. The Slanted Door is a modern Vietnamese restaurant that showcases ((an)) abundance of produce. So I tried to ((modernly design their identity)) with bright orange ((colors)) and still look Vietnamese with their national ((flower, the lotus.))

Pantone
This project was to design three posters for Pantone. My design goal was to show ((as much color)) that’s in the world to remind people that Pantone captures the World’s color.

CIOCCOLATO
This project was to design a logo and ((package)) for CIOCCOLATO. CIOCCOLATO is ((a high quality romantic chocolate.)) So I tried ((to accomplish design goals with a romantic looking logo and simple stripes on bar packaging.))
References :

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